Monday, August 4, 2008

I'm going "green"!

Yep, you, the reader, heard right! I'm going "green"!

I'm going green.... because I'm getting sick of all of this environmental "green" scare-the-people bullshit going around lately!

OK, before you all go filling my comments area with death threats and meannesses,let me explain just why I say this. This month's preview channel on my Dish Network is "Planet Green". Its a network of nothing but shows about environmentalism. As the great Eric Cartman would say....


I'll be the first to say that the human race is stupid. I won't argue that there is an environmental problem these days. I get that. What I don't get is all this scrambling around trying, in vain, to "fix" the problem created by hundreds of years of dipshit human behavior. Look at how our own North American continent faired while the American Indians were the ones taking care of things. Shit didn't go downhill until the Europeans got here and proceeded to screw it up. The Indians used everything from the buffalo they hunted. They ate the meat, tanned the hides for clothing and shelter, used the bones for tools, weapons, medicines. They didn't waste anything. They had a huge spiritual respect for "mother earth".

As far as climate change goes, guess what!? ITS THE EARTH, A LIVING PLANET, THE CLIMATE'S BEEN CHANGING ON ITS OWN FOR MILLIONS OF YEARS!!!!! Some of you hippies are awful damned arrogant if you think YOU can do any damn thing to stop it. Hence, quit trying! Personally, I plan on being dead a long damn time before the whole thing collapses. Who wants to live to be a million years old, anyway?

I will admit, I can understand the "green" building idea. I have seen on the network that some of the techniques save money for the folks who do some of the stuff. Saving money is quite nice. And I can understand trying to get vehicles to run on natural gas. I get that part. Pollution is a problem in big cities, I admit it. The main problem is that these cities have allowed themselves to grow unchecked for a couple hundred years or so, just because they have the space to do so.

If you take a look at the area I live in, the air is still very nice and clean. The sky is blue, the grass is green and plentiful, and the air smells awesome when farmers mow their alfalfa crops, or field grass. I don't like big cities, anyway, since people in general piss me off. Funny thing is, the biggest noise about "green" is made by those big city people. The greatest "environmentalists" alive today are........ FAMILY FARMERS!! These folks know conservation, animal care, hunting (and, we eat what we hunt, you animal rights morons!), and they know how to work the land so as not to fuck it up.

I also can understand the whole "organic food" movement. Which, again, should be credited properly to the family farmer. I'm not talking about the big "corporate" farms, we won't get onto that subject. I'm talking about ol' Farmer Bob down the road who uses good ol' fashion cow shit as fertilizer on the crops, and grows his animals without using chemical pesticides and shit. That kind of farmer still exists. Besides, the meat tastes a hell of a lot better than the shit you buy at the store. See, the "organic" thing is nothing new where I come from. And can we stop bitching about the whole methane gas business? Animals give that off everyday. Should we kill all the animals so they quit farting?

The crap I have trouble with is the whole garbage bitch. People suddenly want to recycle everything. Fine, for some non-biodegradable shit, but paper? PAPER ROTS TO NOTHING, YOU TITS! Was I the only person who watched "Life After People" on the History channel, or whatever it was on? They said, right on the show, that if people suddenly disappeared, which wouldn't really bother me, everything would basically return to dirt and trees. Even buildings would crumble and the concrete and steel, which both originate from earthly elements, would turn back to normal earth material. AND animals would come back stronger than ever. So, quit your damn worrying already!

Then, there are those goofy ideas people come up with! They put all this thought into inventing shit that, in the long run, won't solve one damn part of any environmental problem. Just makes them sound idiotic.

And, if you'd like to spew statistics, which are all I seem to hear on that channel, may I remind you that over 60% of all statistics are made up completely on the spot. If you think you need to quote numbers to make yourself sound smart, it means you probably aren't.

OK, I've had about as much of this topic as I can stand.

No fancy funny way to end this one, today.... Except to say that if stuff in my house "goes green", that means its time to throw the shit out!

*rant off*

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Gas Prices and Gas Bags...

You may want to sit down and strap in for this one. It's gonna be bumpy!

My television is emotionally abused!

I yell at the TV constantly when watching the news and seeing stories on the "gas crisis" and the shit economy.

Guess what, all you "economic experts"? THE ECONOMY IS SHIT BECAUSE OF THE GAS PRICES!!! Think about it, people! You always hear on TV how "nobody can pinpoint the cause of the falling economy". Hell, a chimp in the monkey cage at the damn zoo can tell you what the problem is (ok, so he'd be doing it in sign language.).

The entire cause of our crapped out economy is GAS PRICES! Use your brains for something other than skull-filler and think about it. The prices on all our food, clothing, and other goods has gone up because the price of shipping the shit has gone up because the price of GAS has shot up! It doesn't take a genius to see the connection, here.

And, thanks alot you market speculator ASSHOLES!! You people have singlehandedly run the price of oil up just to make you Rolls Royce payments. Grow up!

All you oil company monkeys are guiltier yet! You've gotten greedy and stupid. We're paying record high prices and you assholes are making record high profits? What color is the sky in your world if you think that shit is proper? I wonder how you jerks sleep at night and look at yourselves in the mirror everyday.

To you "greenfreaks", shut the fuck up! You all get on TV and say... "All of us just have to drive less, take public transportation, walk more". Well, guess what, Sally! That shit don't fly around my home! Here, where I live, in rural nowhere, USA, we HAVE TO DRIVE! That's right, plug your virgin little ears, we have to drive a MINIMUM of 20 miles one way to get to work. There are a lucky few who actually get to work in the town they live in around here, so don't try to sell me that bag of crap.

There is absolutely NO reason, whatsoever, for gas to be 4 bucks a gallon! Look at 9-11, for instance. After we were attacked, the government came out and made sure the prices didn't change. Then, of course, hurricane Katrina was used as an excuse to raise the prices. I call "bullshit" on that one, too.

And, don't we OWN the middle east by now? They're paying 40-some cents a gallon and we're getting it anally with no lube. Give me a reason for that crap.

What really pisses me off is when I have to take out a bank loan to fill the car! At least I don't have to get a "Sub-prime" mortgage!

As far as the dependence on foreign oil thing, I agree that shit is stupid. We have more than plenty oil here that we SHOULD be using. I just saw a story last week that there are leases already in effect on land by oil companies that AREN'T BEING USED! Someone explain the sense behind that reasoning? Please?

The whole thing smells like a cow's ass on a hot Saturday afternoon. You watch, though, the price will drop like a mortgage company's stock right before the election.

Well, this post has run itself outta gas. And, at today's prices, I can't fill it up.

*rant off*

To All of You Political Types...

This writing goes out to all of you "liberals" and "conservatives" out there. I'm going to tell you right now that those two labels have always confused me. Are you sure they don't mean "5 year olds"?

The more I watch TV or listen to talk radio (one of my favorite shows happens to be "Countdown with Keith Olberman"), the more I have to laugh at the childish bullshit that I hear. Most of the time, the childish behavior comes from the "conservatives".

Allow me, here, to offer some advice from someone who'd rather think on his own rather than to be told what to believe by certain radio or TV hosts. My advice....

"GROW THE F*** UP!!!"

Seriously, I've never heard such blatantly stupid shit in my whole life. And it only gets worse around election time.

Just tonight, for example, I'm watching Olberman and McCain is bitching about Obama and, for the umpteenth time in a row, getting facts and dates mixed up. Apparently his "Oldtimers" disease is getting the better of him. Well, this sounded to me an awful lot like when my girlfriend's kids were 11, 9, and 7 and arguing amongst themselves. Then, on another MSNBC program, you have people from each side going at it like teenagers. I hate to say it, but you conservative types seem worse than the liberals sometimes when it comes to whining. Hmm, perhaps Phil Gramm is on to something when he says we're a "nation of whiners".

All I ever seem to hear from these groups, who seem to trade off on whose worse, is "Waaaaaaah, he said something naughty about meeee!"

I just can't seem to grasp what's so damned appealing about either "group". The conservative thought process seems to be: "We don't like..*insert fun activity here* and think there should be a law against it!" The liberals always say... well, not much of anything, really, but they seem to have a little more fun.

I find it odd that people seem to take issue with a political candidate who takes the "middle" position on issues. Why is that? Can someone explain it to me... in plain American ENGLISH?

And, what the hell happened to just being an AMERICAN? I'm not talking about that "hyphenated-american" crap, I could do a post on that alone and just might! I'm talking about the polarization of my great nation into "Liberal" and "Conservative" and the idea, on both sides, that if you don't agree with their views, you are wrong! I've attempted to decipher the ideals of both platforms and the way I think falls 50/50 into both categories. So, would that make me a "Coniberal" or a "Libervative"?

Ah, I could give a damn, really. I'm just a free-thinking AMERICAN! Remember those kind of folks? We're the ones who really vote and should run things. We like to think for ourselves! We're the ones who question things! In short, WE'RE NOT SHEEP!

I'll leave you with this thought, with apologies to JFK (who, by the way, had as much "experience" as Barack Obama before HE got elected!):

Ask not how your country's gonna screw you. Ask how you can un-screw-up your country!

*Hey, if "Dubya" can make up his own language, I can too!*

Have a day!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

My First College Paper Article...

OK, I've decided that for my first post in this blog, I would allow you folks to enjoy my first article I ever wrote for my college paper this past semester. A little backstory, first, however. You see, I'm currently in my second round of college at the age of 34. I guess I liked it so much the first time that I had to do it over. lol This time, I'm working on a B.S. in English Education.

I have a great many opinions that you "get" to read! Sometimes I come off as an asshole! lol And, know right now, that I'm perfectly fine with that! I don't really give a damn what celebrities do, although we "get" to hear it all the time. I do care about my family, my friends, my bikes, and my tunes. Most importantly....

It's MY opinion! Deal with it!!!

Now, enjoy my first post! Even with the misquoted movie line!

By: Jim Myers
“I’m mad as hell, and I’m not gonna take it anymore!” Those were the words once spoken by Richard M. Nixon back in the 1970’s. At least, I think it was Nixon. Maybe another person with a background in History and a better memory can correct me if I’m wrong. For those of you reading this who are fortunate to have been born long after the disco era, Richard Millhouse Nixon was one of those President-type people. You know, the person we “elect” to make a lot of bad decisions “on our behalf”? The reason I say that is that I saw something one time on a news program, which means it totally has to be true (read as said sarcastically), that most high school aged kids and some in college can’t name all of our past Presidents! Stay with me, there is a point here!
The older I get, the more “irritated” I become. There are several reasons for a seemingly “sane” person to be thrown into an angry frenzy. The most prevalent of these reasons is the rampant stupidity I’ve either heard of on television or witnessed personally. You know the types of stupid to which I’m referring. Those moments when you’re left shaking your head with a “what the ….” look on your face.
Well, folks! These days my own head seems to be on a permanent swivel and that previously mentioned facial expression has etched itself into my face! So, to borrow that quote from “Tricky Dick” (that’s what Nixon was called during his run at screwing up the country), I’m mad as hell, and I’m not gonna shut up about it anymore!
I’d like to start with my favorite subject, politics! OK, I’ll admit it. I voted for Bush, both times. Hey, I said stupidity irritates me, I didn’t say I was immune to stupid acts on occasion! At first, “Dubya” seemed like a real go-getter, a hard-charger who proved to the world that the U.S.A. doesn’t take any crap from anyone. Well, my best guess is that his IQ dropped along with his approval ratings steadily in the last few years. My opinion would be that Dubya’s legacy after he leaves office will be great jokes for stand-up comics for years to come. I’m also quite annoyed by all of this “Conservative” versus “Liberal” crap I hear constantly these days. Could somebody please explain to me just what the (expletive censored by the writer on the grounds that people are too stinking sensitive these days) difference is? I don’t get it! Listen to talk radio sometime! These people are constantly going on about this guy or that group or those people. All I ever seem to hear is “if you vote for this guy your life will be ruined!” To me, it’s like some silly school playground fight between full-grown rich people who have detached themselves from those of us who work for a living, or are pursuing the intellectual life. It all seems rather pointless to me.
The common American voter isn’t entirely safe from the wrath of my typing fingers, either! The way I see it, you all are part of the problem. Follow me, here! The people who are elected get elected because of a “sheep” mentality. That, and for reasons that completely escape normal thinking, people think that to be an effective leader means you have to be a rich lawyer or business-type. In this great country of ours, unfortunately, mental capacity seems to have nothing to do with “electability”. This is a shame! Every now and then, we have a guy that decides to run for the “big job” who actually possesses a brain, gets a whole lot of support, and seems to gain a loyal following. But! When the time comes to vote in a primary or general election, all these “supporters” go ahead and vote for the same old same old. On top of all that, the people that vote “money” ahead of smarts turn around and whine about how things are going well into someone’s term.
I can say, however, that our political stupidity pales in comparison to other so-called “democratic” societies on this planet. There are many places where they need armed guards watching over the elections to make sure everything goes “well”. Most don’t go well. Now, this is only my opinion, but I think the reason for this is that most of these places can’t handle “free-thinking”. So, I guess I can’t complain too much about things here. But, let’s all get together and vote for smart people this time around!
OK, next topic o’ annoyance, celebrity role models! Role models? Yeah, everyone’s kids ought to worship near-anorexic, drunk, drug-crazed, bad-driving teen-aged girls who are only famous because they spent five-grand on an excuse to buy a bigger bra. Please! Most of these presently trendy celebrities have succeeded in turning stupidity into the “next big thing”. Look at Paris Hilton for instance. The only reason she’s famous at all, or even known, is that uber-retarded (did I really just type “uber”?) TV “show” she did with her equally brain-dead “bff”. Well, she’s also famous for that other “show” of sorts that she did, without knowing it. But, we won’t go into that one other than to say that that one was crap, too. Another glowing example of “role-modeling” is Lindsey Low-tolerance. Oops! I mean “Lohan”. Her claim to fame lately has been celebrating getting through rehab by going out and getting drunk.
Whatever happened to a kid looking at his or her parents as role models? Personally, my greatest heroes are my Mother, the artist David Mann, Chuck Close (he’s an artist, Google him! He’s inspiring), and Jesus. Yes, Jesus is a hero of mine even though I don’t believe in organized religion. I’ll get into that next time. That is, if there is a next time! Which there may be, since I doubt stupid will cure itself anytime soon.

Note: Jim Myers isn’t even close to being a journalist or even a halfway decent columnist. He’s just a guy with a big mouth, fast fingers, a bad attitude, and something to say. You may direct any “hate” mail to his junk e-mail folder. If anything he writes offends you, grow a sense of humor! You’ll need it to deal with all the stupid people around you!

**another note**
I was informed after this piece came out that I misquoted the quote at the beginning! It wasn't Nixon! It was a line from the movie "Network". OOPS!